Tuesday, August 15, 2006

For those of you that are married and/or have lived with their significant other tell me...the first little while of living with that person is the hardest, right?! My good friend told me it takes about 2 years. Things with Jared are okay, we're still getting used to each other being around each other more but we fight SO much more. When we were dating and while we were engaged we never fought and now, ugh!! I know it's normal but it totally sucks!! At least we're both on the same page, and tryng really hard...any tips or words of advice will be greatly appreciated. Or stories..tell me..Will post more pics of the wedding soon!!


em said...

Hey Val! Everyone told me (over and over) that the first year of marriage would be the most difficult...but I found that to be pretty untrue. I think that Justin and I will always have little things about us that are different and bug each other, but I think the key is just to decide which things are important enough to you to argue over!! There are just some things that are small enough to overlook, I think!

Good Luck! Looking forward to the pics :)

Jill said...

i don't know, the first couple of years for Gary & i, we fought quite a bit. like i had my own way of how i thought things should be done. and i thought he'd help out more w/housework. ha! i still haven't figured out how to get him to help. so yeah, those years were tough. but good. hang in there!! you guys will figure it out =)

Odette said...

I don't have any experience in this area, but don't go to bed mad. It will all be beter the next day!!!!

Anonymous said...

I have heard that rumor about the first year of marriage being the hardest as well. since I am not married, I can only draw from my own past experience of living with a boyfriend, and my biggest piece of advice is make sure you each get space and alone time, despite living in the same house. and don't give up (of course you won't!) because it can only get easier ;)

sarah said...

I'm not married...
nor have I lived with a boyfriend.
but I have lived with boys...
and boys are annoying to live with.
I think it just it takes some time.
hang in there!

BR@NDY said...

Never Never go to bed mad....communication is key. Find a happy medium to every argument. A house is big and make sure you each have your own space. The first 3 years are the hardest. Some arguing is healthy, so FYI you are not alone everyone does it. Hang in there and love will conquer all. HUGS.

alice valentine said...

I have lived with my boyfriend for one year and we will always have our disagreements about things... just try not to turn them into fights. If he asks me to not leave my scrapbook stuff in the livingroom, it's important that I say, "ok honey, I'll try not to do that anymore", instead of getting mad and saying, "well your car magazines are all over!". Also, if you do get in a fight.. NEVER leave it. Make sure it is settled before either of you leave.

Kat said...

steve and i lived together before we were married, and before that we practically lived together, so i'm not really sure how that works.......
but i agree with everyone- don't go to bed mad, pick your battles, and have your own space!!!
also, make sure to get out together and do fun stuff. date nights are still improtant! it'll get easier, i promise :)

Raina_Marie said...

Jimmy and I lived together before getting married.
And I know that when we first moved in together I thought it would all be sugary sweet. How could it not be fun and romantic and happy all the time, right?
WRONG! Arguing is normal. You're adjusting to living with Jared. It's a pretty big deal. Don't worry...things will get better.

Levi said...

Clay and I have lived together now for almost 5 months. First of all, I'm an only girl and this is my first home and I wanted things My Way! Well I have to remind myself that he is now part of my life and it's Our Way.

I'm a clean freak but lately, the house is a disaster. Yes I said it, DISASTER! I admit that I don't have time to clean, do laundry, go grocery shopping, make dinner, work, and plan a wedding, and I just try not to have people over to see the mess. Not only that, but now WE have a dog and it sheds!

Something that we just argued about was Dinner. Should I eat w/o him or wait?

I'm always cold, he's always hot...thermostat argument.

I'm a homebody, he needs to get out and socialize.

His cell phone is glued to his ear. I hate the phone!

If I do laundry, he waters and mows the lawn. If I cook, he cleans up and vice versa. He'll always open doors for me and take the garbage out too.

Like others have said, never go to bed upset and just talk about it. Honestly, sometimes I'm exhausted and tired from crying and just want to go to sleep. He'll let me and we talk about it again the next day to resolve it.

We both agree that it's good we have our own hobbies and a little time apart does some good.

We leave notes for eachother and even buy eachother flowers.

Okay, enough from me... I'm not married until next month. Geesh!

Babs said...

Hmmmm. We've lived together for six years. I think the key is having a lot of things you do separately. Plenty of "me" time.

Jessica F said...

I have been living with my boyfriend (of almost 2 years) for about 9 months now. I have to say that I thought it would be a huge adjustment and we'd fight more, but it actually has been one of the easiest and happiest times for us and for me personally. I think some people just take more time to adjust than others.

I totally agree on everyone saying to get your own space. One night I felt suffocated in our bed so I slept on the floor of the office. He felt bad like I was mad and I just had to explain that I needed space that night. He gets it now and I know when I need to step away.

He has left before to go read at Barnes and Noble. Not that he couldn't on our couch, but he just needed that time and space. So I let him.

Things like that really help.

I really think it will be easier with time for you! xo